Saturday, March 24, 2012

What's the old saying "Time Heals all Wounds"?

Wow its been a while since I've posted on my blog.  Today I was watching a movie I haven't seen in 10 years and I was reminded of just how much I love it.  I love it so much that I wanted to share with you my favorite scene.  There is a very good reason that this movie strikes such a chord in my heart, my mother.  As a daughter, I have always looked back on my childhood with joy but also with tears.  The bond I have with my mother has been the rock and foundation on which I've shaped my life.  My childhood had some pretty good little bumps in it.  In my 30's, I started to realize this perfect life I had placed in my head wasn't exactly the truth.  One part my fault but also one part my mothers.  We spent a lot of my time trying to convince everyone that our life was perfect.  I've found that now I'm dedicated to living an authentic life.  The truths are that there is NO perfect life. 
     I sit here at my computer just a few days after my 42nd birthday and realize that I am a very blessed woman.  I have come full circle.  I'm so blessed my best friend is my mother.  In the last few years, our relationship is real.  It makes me smile.  The band aids have all come off to reveal a life time of hurt.  When we finally talked as genuine and as real as we could, we could heal.  I no longer blame my mother for all that is wrong with my life.  lol.  I did that all on my own.  I'm so happy that we could move through the past because the joy I have being with my parents is insurmountable.  My 20's I spent a lot of time on myself.  Concentrating on who I thought I should be.  I was just trying to figure out who I was.  My 30's was spent living my life.  Doing all of the things that I set out to do in my 20's.  Living a pretty selfish life.  Learning that all that I wanted in my 20's wasn't what I really needed.  My 40's have just begun and so have I.  I'm starting over, a redo.  I would be lying if I told you I knew what I was doing.  Lol.  I don't have a clue but I will let you know when I figure it out.  I'm learning what a creative person I truly am.  I'm learning that I have a lot of love to give.  I also have a lot of life to live.
Sorry I seemed to have strayed of topic a bit;)  I just want to share with you this wonderful scene where the mother and daughter are healing their relationship.  The mother is speaking to her daughter and having an a-ha moment.

And then it dawned on me, all those years that I prayed, that I begged on my hands and knees for God to make me more.  Make me better.  Make me stronger.  Make me saner.  Make all my dreams come true.    Right there in one person.  All I’ve ever wanted to be and there you are.  You came right through me and I never even realized.  I hate it when its right there in front of your face, don’t you? 

What a wonderful moment when God reaches through the muck and the mess of our lives and blesses us.  I have been so lucky to get to hear some of these same words come out of my sweet momma's lips.  Thank you Lord for healing our family.  I don't think I could feel any closer to my parents than I do today.  My mother now takes the time out of her day to tell me all of those things that a daughter longs to hear.  "I'm proud of you."  "You have turned into a wonderful mother."  She lifts me up when I'm down.  My number one cheerleader.  I love you mom.  I will be thanking God for you in my prayers tonight.